Horror, Mini Reviews

Mini Review: Sorority Row 2009

I am not a fan of the flood of horror movie remakes. Many of them just seem to spit all over the original movie. However in the case of this movie the original wasn’t much to get excited about in the first place. I tend to put horror movies into three different (personal) categories. Ones I legitimately like, ones I hate, and the dumb but fun ones. I knew from the moment I hit play that at most this movie could be “dumb but fun”.

The plot is pretty simple. A prank done by Sorority Sisters goes wrong, it results in a death, some time down the road the girls are hunted by someone that seems to know about the prank. It’s not really that unique, it’s been done before with some slight variation, but then slasher movies aren’t exactly known for their totally unique plots.

This movie seems to understand two basic things, that sex sells, and that people like seeing dumb people get stabbed in movies. There isn’t much more to it. Most scenes are either gratuitous nudity or violence. This isn’t a bad thing, but not really enough to be a good thing either. The problem is the filler makes the movie a bit painful.

None of the girls are sympathetic, even the girl that is supposed to be our hero. The girls are are various stages of dumb, drugged, or just plain rude. Our hero is different, she’s supposed to be above all this sorority bull, but she’s not. She was just as involved, and just as ok with everything before the death of their friend so her sudden turn around is just not that believable or great. Yeah she feels bad about her friend dying, she should, it doesn’t make her a great person just more human than the others. She also doesn’t care about the other sisters. Despite the fact that all but one of the girls seems to be cracking under the guilt of what they did she insists that she’s the special one and screw them.

There are a few red herrings of who the killer could be, but at the end of the day the big reveal is pretty meh. The plot isn’t built up well enough to actually care who’s doing the killing. Kind of the problem with the whole movie, just nothing about it is worth getting invested in.

This movie isn’t completely worthless, it does have it’s moment of “oh that was a good kill”, but it’s not even really good enough to be dumb but fun.

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