Video Games

You Really Don’t Want These Achievements

A lot of video games like to include achievements that you might not actually want to unlock. They require you to do embarrassing things, or make fun of how bad you’ve done in the game. Yet the perfectionist in so many of us just can’t stop ourselves, we have to get them. Here are some of the achievements you really don’t want, but will get anyway. Note I won’t be including achievements that require you to do something “evil” or terrible in that way, just rather embarrassing.

Lollipop Chainsaw: I Swear! I Did It By Mistake!

b

Embrace your inner perv and mess with the camera to look up Juliet’s skirt. Doing so will earn you 10g and more than slightly embarrassing achievement. In fairness it might actually be possible to accidentally get this one, but we all know that’s not how it happens.

Metal Gear Solid HD Collection: Snake Beater

You can pretty much guess what this achievement involves given the name. Go into a locker, look at a sexy picture, and wait for Snake to get excited. Once Snake is caught “being excited” you will get 10g. Is it worth it?

Fallout 4: Touchdown!

Despite the title of the achievement you don’t actually do anything worthwhile to get this, in fact you are more like “the ball” rather than the person scoring. Touchdown! is awarded when you manage to get yourself blown up and go flying. You get 10g and everyone knows you messed up.

Penny Arcade Episode 2: Pervert

1

This achievement just gets right to it. You have to be a pervert and keep examining the balls on a binoceros. Once you look at them five times you will get your 15g. Plus you got to experience the joys of checking out a pair of balls over and over.

Fable II See the Future: The Paramour

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Have sex 25 times in Fable II and earn 10g. In fairness the sex scenes in this game are less “sexy” and more “cheesy”, but that sort of adds to the embarrassment. Everyone is going to know that you took the time to go through the many steps required in order to get the really bad sex scene at least 25 times.

Dead or Alive 4: 20 Straight Losses in DOA Online

This should win an award for worst achievement title ever. As it says you have to lose 20 times in a row to get this achievement, and you will earn 0g for doing so. However games with 0g achievements still require you to unlock those to technically complete all the achievements for the game. Not only is it embarrassing but the game kind of slaps you in the face for it.

Guitar Hero II: Long Road Ahead

d

Fail a song on Easy and earn yourself 10g. In fairness you can pretty much say you did this on purpose, but still, you have an achievement for failing a song on easy.

 

Dead Rising 2 Off the Record: Adult Content

The description tells you to take an extremely erotic picture. Not just erotic, extremely erotic. When you look at a guide it tells you to find what is basically 4 sex toys and take a picture. Congrats you got 20g, and took an extremely erotic picture.

Duke Nukem Forever: Turd Burglar

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Grab a piece of poo out of a toilet and get yourself 10g. Like most of this game it’s just shameful.

F.E.A.R.: Afraid

You get this for finishing a multiplayer game with a negative score. You can set this up in order to get it on purpose, or just be very bad at the game. Either way you will get 0g, and like the DOA achievement if you want to technically 100% this game you need to unlock the achievement.

So there you have it, 10 achievements that require more than a little shame to have on your achievement list. Happy hunting!

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